OHIO - My older sister Nadine is the family geneologist. She spent years hunting down the origins of the Grimes clan and bapitizing the unsuspecting as Grimeses. My brother-in-law Nelson, for instance. He's a Grimes. It says it right there, in my monthly Grimes newsletter.
As our beloved leader, Nadine writes us Grimeses often, always in response to a deluge of requests for information about her. It turns out we Grimes are insatiably curious about Nadine, who, as a lifelong stoner housewife and recent obtainer of her GED degree, illuminates the world for us all.
When people in Columbus were being shot by the freeway sniper, that was her personal tragedy, for she has, in the past, used Columbus freeways. She wrote us that she was terrified, but well. When a suspected cougar was roaming within a few miles of her house, she was inundated with concerned emails about her well-being, so she sent an update worldwide. When her son's high school football team lost, she pled for understanding during that difficult time. When the friend of a friend lost their house to a fire, it made her Christmas newsletter. Poor Nadine. So much tragedy, so young. She's an inspiration to us all.
The latest missive from Columbus is about the Amish shootings, which, stunningly enough, affect Nadine too:
Due to the many e-mails from Grimes relatives pertaining to the gun shooting in Lancaster, I felt a need to respond.
I have been asked by a few if we are connected... Although I have not heard the list of deceased names, we are genetically connected, therefore regardless they are our family.The fact that one of my Aunts married the Immigrant Fisher in the early 1700's along with the name Ebersole also in many of our trees, along with Rhoads the midwife for the girls.
Yeah, unfortunately, I would say this is coming really close to home.
And answers the question many of you have had for me, are we related...
Yes, I believe we probably are even 200 plus years later. Cousin Nadine
Allie is a big fan of Nadine's prose. "I'm sending you the latest missive from Nadine," I'll say.
"Oh dear god no," she'll reply, straining to combat the morbid curiosity. She'll lose. "Okay, send it."
I sent it.
"My third cousin eight times removed once said hi to the Great-great-great grandmother of the neighbor of one of the victims," she replied. "It hits really close to home for me, too. People should send me flowers. And sympathy cards. With money in them."