staving off stupidification

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The votes are in. 10 out of 10 people my age report that we're way stupider than we were a decade ago. I find myself apologetically telling people things like "I used to be so much smarter. Trust me."

I most notice the intellectual degradation at my job. Work is the control variable. Work hasn't much changed, but my capacity for dealing with it sure has. I'm slower. I miss things. It takes me longer to figure new things out. And remembering things? Please. Without taking copious notes, I wouldn't remember where my office is. Which is doubly sad, because it's in my house.

I'll allow that some of this is due to my not caring anymore, but not all of it is. I can no longer "turn it on" and do great work when I want to. My leading theory is that brain cells are flat-out dying. The rest of me is deteriorating apace; why would the brain be any different?

I'm not sure how much of this is atrophy. It's worth considering, though, since atrophy is the only theory I can actually address. Certainly the farther I get from school, the longer I have to explain to amateur editors that "because" is no different than any other subordinating conjunction, the more that ex-girlfriends and new parents comprise my social circle...the more gooified my mind is becoming. Meanwhile, in my four years of living in Metamuville, I have met exactly one college graduate, and he was on a Big Ten football scholarship. Enough said.

I'm betting, then, that part of the problem is indeed environmental. Praying, even. Hoping to stave off the ravages of stupidity, I've turned off the TV and upped my heavy reading quotient. I'm forcing myself to interact with bright people whom I do not like. "Let me know how it works," bid 9 out of 9 friends my age.

Falling asleep while reading dry material, wanting to punch the throat of the pontificating windbag to my left—it's college all over again.