Distinguished Stank troll (and Godless hate-America-firster) Tamara declared this morning that the reason most American men would rather listen to mold grow than watch a soccer match is that fat Americans prefer similarly rotund football and baseball athletes to "HOT guys who can go for HOURS." Because, you know, svelte American women and gay men are flocking to soccer stadiums.
In honor of the World Cup, which I'm told is is a soccer something going on somewhere sometime soon, here's an alternative take on the subject.