It started with my thinking my dog Ed's vet was cute. "Cute, and I maybe could get free veterinary care," I thought. "Ha."
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha."
I always find my thoughts much, much funnier than they actually are.
Not knowing what else to post about that wasn't football-related, I started writing about that. I would try to make myself seem cluelessly calculating, and everyone would laugh at me. When in doubt, pratfall, I always say. Somewhere along the way "vet" became "teacher." Not pleased with the result, I published it anyway. And then the mail started to pour in. Ugly mail.
Ladies: it was not my intention to perpetuate some sort of stereotype I did not know existed. Please call off your dogs.
Gentlemen: this is not Penthouse Forum. Please do not send me your bend-the-teacher-over-the-lectern fantasies. They're creepy, implausible and misspelled.