When the original Star Wars was released, I was a little kid. The target audience, even. I begged my mother to take me to see it...until the day that the Catholic Times arrived in our mailbox, trumpeting on its cover what a great Catholic allegory Star Wars was. Cue the role reversal. Mom wanted to go, and I scored the earth with nail-marks as she dragged me to the theatre. Fortunately, in this as in all things, the Catholic church was utterly full of shit. But I do miss the Times and its wildly entertaining movie reviews, which deemed 2 out of 3 films "morally offensive." I, in turn, called those movies "must sees."
This morning I found an evangelical Christian web site that reviews movies for objectionableness. Hallelujah! Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, for instance, was dinged for its "evolutionary content." God doth hate static content so. At a glance, though, here was my single favorite statement, about the documentary March of the Penguins:
The narrator states penguins have been around for thousands of years, which is untrue because, according to Creation science findings, the Earth is actually younger than we thought (unless "thousands of years" meant anywhere from 5,000 to 8,000 years before Christ).
I'd rate that 8/10 on the slack-jawed stupidity scale, but I'm sure there's a 10 up there. Shall we make it a reader contest?