Sweet potatoes. The only food that actually trips my gag reflex. You could offer me $1000 cash, and I couldn't keep them down.
The Lord of the Rings movies. Okay, "hate" is too strong, but I was desperately bored. I still maintain that any line of dialogue could come out of any character's mouth, and that scenes could be shown in almost any order, and the movies would be utterly unaffected. This assessment is based on the films alone, mind you. I never read the books, and friends who have read them see in the films far more developed characters and story than I do.
Kari Byron, Mythbusters twinkie. The show used to be about two guys testing urban legends, but then fanboys started drooling over background prop Kari, who for the fanboys' convenience plainly labeled her breasts. Within a year, she was in a bikini, and I was fast-forwarding.
Tom's natural deodorant. I don't exactly relish smearing aluminum into my pores, but Jesus H., the alternative! Who thinks this gunk actually works? By the time I get to the office, I smell like a Frenchman dunked in chamomile tea.
Pro football cheerleaders. I'll take my sex and my violence separately, thanks. If I want to see teenage girls simulate masturbation, I know where to go, and ain't Qwest Field. Worse, though, is seeing the stupid, skeevy men who watch the girls. Me, I'm there to watch a game. The game is more than enough entertainment for me, and it's the uncontested focus of my attention. Except when I'm watching stupid, skeevy men leer at teenage girls. This, for my money, is not fandom. Write it down: the day the Steelers get cheerleaders, I'll disavow them.
Tivo. Oh, I pay for this boat anchor, but I ain't happy about it. I used to have UltimateTV, the Betamax of DVR formats. Going from UTV to Tivo is like going from a Rolls to three-wheeled Radio Flyer. The delay between when I click a button on the remote and when something happens on the screen is so great, I routinely become interested in whatever's on after I've clicked a button to make it go away. Twice, I've fallen asleep during the delay. Truly, a marvel of engineering. A comparison:
| Task | UltimateTV | Tivo |
| Stopping a recording session |
Clicks: Press Stop button Time elapsed: none |
Clicks: 10 Time elapsed: 24 seconds |
| Deleting 60 recorded shows |
Clicks: 3 Time elapsed: 2 seconds |
Clicks: 300 Time elapsed: 22 minutes |
| Setting unit to automatically record show |
Clicks: 4 Time elapsed: three seconds |
Clicks: 7 Time elapsed: 2:04 minutes |
| Stopping above automatic recording |
Clicks: 2 Time elapsed: two seconds |
Clicks: 29 Time elapsed: 1:07 minutes |
| Going from live TV to list | Time elapsed: one second | Time elapsed: 6-25 seconds |
| Watching TV while looking at the guide or the list of recorded shows. Or while programming. | Yes | Huh? |
Adam Sandler. I'm still waiting for the No Talent Police to catch him and beat him to death.
Rappers wearing Ohio State colors. Perhaps you'd care to regale us with a few verses of "Carmen Ohio," Mr. Dogg?