never believe a finger-wagging man

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Qaeda #2 man Ayman "I'm too valuable to be a martyr and go to heaven. You go." al-Zawahiri is at it again. He took to the airwaves to bedazzle the world with his linguistic dexterity, his oh-so-intimidating set decorations—"oh my god, Gladys, that scary Muslim still has that gun!!!"—and a grasp of the American psyche apparently learned through TV movies.

"We exploded volcanoes of anger in your countries. If you continue your politics against Muslims, you will see, God willing, such horror that you will forget the horrors of Vietnam."
Dude, you've lost. Oh sure, it's easy enough to kill Americans. You can do it. So can I. Who couldn't? But this cowering you covet is a figment of your imagination. Ain't happening. We've reluctantly adjusted to the reality that a bunch of fundamentalist fucktards are trying to kill us and that we're in a race to kill them first. Proof: the headline this morning wasn't about your histrionics. It was that Martha Stewart was going to have to serve three more weeks. The next headline was about Dave Chappelle. You were above John Daly missing the cut, but he hasn't won a tournament since 1993 or so. Best of all, when you bombed London, the world's stock markets went up. Thanks for that.

You can bite and yap all you want, but at the end of the day, it's still the tinny arf of a lap dog desperate for attention.