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January 1, 1800
validate this
Originally published November 5, 2004
So a giddy W has reassured an anxious, divided nation that his efforts will be bipartisan. Kinda. "I'm going to reach out to those who share our goals." Um, maybe you should look up "bipartisan," fella. And in that inclusive spirit he added rhapsodically, "I've earned political capital in this election. I'm going to spend it. That's what I do."
I suppose so. Sigh.
While W drinks heartily from the cup that was actually a pretty damned close election, the left is greedily toking the validation pipe like it's their only source of air. If I receive that mildly-amusing-the-first-twelve-times "Jesusland" cartoon one more time, or see that British tabloid headline one more time, or receive any such self-aggrandizing jibe at people who voted differently from me, I'm gonna find my ballot, change my vote, and staple it to the sender's forehead. Enough already. They won. We lost. Must you add desperately defensive circle-jerking to our feelings of failure? Lose with some dignity, for chrissakes.
[censored]
Candidates should pay me not to vote for them
Originally published November 3, 2004
I'm reminded this morning of a comment I recently made to Ed's vet. The vet wanted me to put Ed on prescription dog food, and she suggested I buy a small bag, "Just in case she doesn't like it." Blinking, I didn't immediately understand. "OH!" I said, "You think I'll care! Don't worry. She'll eat it eventually. I can last a lot longer than she can. Just gimme the 40 pound bag." And after a few days of starving, Ed finally yielded and ate the dog food I put in her bowl.
Mine, I think, is the same strategy the Democrats used in nominating Kerry. Kerry is objectionable dog food we were expected to pout about, then gag down in the face of the alternative. Oops. When the Democrats are performing a post-mortem on this election, which I presume will be sometime after they've taken off their shoes and socks and done the fateful arithmetic in Ohio but sometime before they agree to blame the stupidity of the electorate for their loss, I hope that they somehow manage to reflect upon the wisdom of running a douche on the one-plank "at least I'm not a turd" platform.
As much as this day hurts them, it hurts fiscal conservatives more. Bigotry's and zealotry's coronation will cast them out of the Republican party for a generation. Fold up the tents, boys. The special interest whores are in charge. Praise the lord and get out.
I'm going to extract what little solace I can from how devastatingly insignificant this must make high school graduates cum policy experts Michael Moore and Sean Penn feel.
posted by john at 12:00 AM • permalink