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January 1, 1800
solidarity, brothers!
Originally published October 7, 2004
Turns out I'm not the only man who doesn't want to see his own butt on women. Go figure.
generational division
Originally published October 7, 2004
Miss Courtney and I mixed it up a bit last week, when I had a snootful and started holding forth about what was wrong with Gen-Yers like herself. I didn't get too far before I committed heresy in her book. I criticized modern women's jeans. Specifically, I criticized the way jeans now de-emphasize a woman's curves and make her butt look as square and flat and featureless as my own. Courtney was aghast, calling jeans that go up to the waist and leave no ass-crack exposed "revolting." On this we agreed to disagree, but it got me thinking that I should start keeping score. Feel free to send me your suggestions.
| Category | Gen-X | Gen-Y | Winner |
| Jeans, seat |
Women's butts look like
women's butts
|
Women's butts look like Bob the plumber's butt | X |
| Jeans, legs | At young age, we hunted down and killed boomer-created travesty that was bell-bottoms | That they brought them back is bad enough. That they brought back their parents' fashion mistake is a moral outrage. | X |
| Use Internet primarily for | Porn, emailing porn, peer-to-peer shared porn | Misspelled text messages | X |
| Whine | "Our parents beat the crap out of us, which constituted abuse" | "Our parents made us wait until we were 17 before they bought us breast implants, which constituted abuse" | X |
| Biggest concert draw | Dave Matthews Band | Britney Spears | X |
| Action star | Harrison Ford | Ben Affleck | X |
| Old fart actor embarrassing himself with leading ladies 30 years his junior | Sean Connery | Harrison Ford | X |
| Brainy actor | Edward Norton | Tobey Maguire | X |
| Ingénue | Molly Ringwold | Katie Holmes | Y |
| Smirking himbo | Bruce Willis | Vin Diesel | X |
| Star Wars | IV, V, VI | I, II, III | X |
| Dominant athlete | Michael Jordan | Tiger Woods | X |
| Best boxer | Mike Tyson | No one | Y |
| Skank athlete | Katarina Witt | Anna Kournakova | Y |
| Presidential scandal | Iran-contra | Blowjob | X |
| Blowjobs | ...are foreplay | ...are handshakes | X |
| Youthful fashion excess | Stirrup pants and acid-washed jeans | Bare midriffs and exposed thongs | X |
| Attitude toward baby boomers | Disgust | Resentment | Push |
| Workplace innovation | Abolishing dress code | Causing need for resurrection of dress-code | X |
| Boy band | Duran Duran | N Sync | X |
| Nightmare first car | VW Bug | Mini-van | X |
| Dream car | Mustang | VW Bug | X |
| Outrageous piercing | Upper ear | Everything else |
X
|
| Conformity | Too lazy to conform | Non-conformists get lower-back tattoos just like all the other non-conformists' |
X
|
| Michael Jackson | Black, sane | Not | X |
| Lexical innovation | "Like" as every conceivable part of speech | "The bomb" as an adjective | X |
| Hope for the future of mankind | Me | Courtney | Y |
| Generational nickname | Gen-X |
Gen-Y
|
X
|
Xers in a landslide.
posted by john at 12:00 AM • permalink