try repressing
Originally published May 4, 2005
Making the blog rounds the other day, I came across a link to the
below missive. I've been mulling over a response ever since. My first
reaction was that I owe a lot of good women an apology for thinking that
vermin like this were figments of their imagination. I apologize
unreservedly.
My second thought was of adults who spar with yappy teenagers. No
satisfaction can come of it; no one respects you for making a child look
foolish, and the child won't understand that he lost.
My third thought was anger—anger toward his female enablers/victims,
without whose consent and collaboration this guy might have learned to
be a thoughtful and responsible human being. Oh well.
Which brings us to where I am at this writing, irritated that this
swine has excused his behavior by making generalizations about my gender
and thereby impugning the character of every man. The generalizations,
like the entire post, are unmitigated nonsense, a steaming pile of horse
shit obviously designed to distract a very specific reader from his
selfish misdeeds. He is the Irrepressible Shaun, and if that charmingly
self-deprecating, self-bestowed nickname evokes thoughts of the Great
and Powerful Oz, that's appropriate. Now I'm going to show you the
pathetic little man pulling levers behind the curtain. Mouse over the
horse-shit icons for line-by-line translations.
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a little honesty here
Ok... Time for some honesty here.
Last week my friend and all of her friends were really
disappointed and angry at me for showing up at the friend's event
with another female.
The friend who was throwing the event told me that I misunderstood
why she was disappointed in me. The other two were just angry and
assumed the protective girlfriend stances. Cool, I expected that.
Well, I want to shed some light
on how I function
with respect to the opposite sex
. First of all, I admit that I can be pretty selfish at times.
I would like to think that I balance this flaw in my character by
being considerate,
gentle and funny,
but that's probably not a true depiction of my actions on a
consistent basis.
At the end of the day, I'm still just me.
Now, I like females... alot.
I find them extremely interesting.
I enjoy observing how they process information, react to different
stimuli, and engage in relationships with males and females.
All of these things are done differently than I, and most males
would do them, however.
So that's where my primary interest lies. Ok, maybe not my primary
interest
, but I do enjoy observing and attempting to understand all of
these dynamics.
Face it
, men and women are entirely two diffferent [sic] species of human
being.
We are sooooooooooo different. Women generally require approval
from the group (the girlfriends) prior to making most decisions
, while most men don't necessarily rely on the group approval from
"our boys."
I'll give you an example. Men, how many times have you met a woman
at a club or wherever and dug her while at the same time she was
digging you?
Things went so well that you two decided that the night shouldn't
end just yet.
You suggest that she should go somewhere alone with you, and she
agrees.
Of course, your
dream night
with your
new friend
won't happen because she came to wherever you met her with "her
girls" and they're not having that. They literally swoop the chick
that you were digging away while you're just standing there like "dayum,
that was just wrong."
Now, how many of you also know that if her girls weren't there
"blocking" that she would go with you?
Now, I know that women need to protect one another and all of
that, but the point of the example is to demonstrate how women
typically make decisions that are popular with the group.
Same example, if "her girls" were equally digging "your boys" then
the decision to all hook up later would have been a unanimous YES!
I also have a theory that 80% of the women want to kick it with
20% of the men.
If you are fortunate enough to be a member of the 20% club
then you will mathematically have more opportunities to mate.
That's one of the perks of being in the club.
Now here is the part that women have difficulty understanding.
They
don't get why men
have a difficult time "turning down"
opportunities to mate. Women generally aren't as promiscuous as
men can be. Thank God for that!
Men, however, have tendancies [sic] and inclinations to go into
what I call "reptile mode." That's when our behavoir [sic]
becomes dayum near instinctual
, uncomplicated
, and predatorial [sic]
, tossed in with a dose of "The Brain."
Pinky: "What are we doing tomorrow night Brain?"
Brain: "The same thing that we do every night Pinky, try to take
over the world!"
Yes, we
go into reptile mode and try to conquer a woman's body. I don't
even think that this act is about sex though. It definitely seems
to be about power.
Why would a member of the 20% club need to conquer more than one
woman at a time? Because he can. It's not right, ethical, or fair.
It's just how it is.
Now here comes the down side.
When a 20% member is not in "reptile mode" he is capable of
carrying on normal, productive relationships with members of the
opposite sex.
Please remember, however, men and women are entirely two different
species of human beings.
We interpret sex entirely differently. I believe that for most
women
sex is a deeply intimate and emotional act, therefore there's very
low tolerance for reptiles.
In contrast, men
operating in reptile mode
are capable of compartmentalizing mating into something less
emotional. It simply becomes "booty" not literally, but in the
sense of something plundered after the reptile has conquered his
prey. In the end a reptile becomes nothing more than a predator
who inflicts pain and suffering. Most of the time unintentionally.
Nevertheless, it's pain just the same!
Men, if you have reptilian tendencies and you are an active member
of the 20% club you are obligated to establish boundaries with the
opposite sex from jump.
That way, you provide the female with the opportunity to accept or
reject the emotional risks associated with investing her feelings
into a 20% club member who possesses reptilian inclinations.
In the end, honesty is always the best policy.
I will try to remember that.
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