« the really? lie | Main | bad dream girl, part deux »
November 2, 2011
bad dream girl
Zooey Deschanel is getting divorced. I'm sure someone is rejoicing—someone pretty delusional, granted—but not me. Never have I tried so hard be attracted to a woman and failed.
In a still photo, she shimmers. Put that brunette mane in a high ponytail, and you have my type precisely. And then she acts. Or sings. Or tweets. And the fantasy is shattered, utterly.
It isn't a mere case of "and then she opened her mouth and ruined it." She seems a nice enough, bright enough person. She's just so...so....
Untalented.
I defy you to watch The New Girl without hearing the weighty clunk-clunk-clunk of her "wacky" affectations, or that Oz reboot without wanting to throttle her outright. Listening to her sing is an exercise in revisiting that chick you knew in college whose onetime charming "artsiness" devolved over time into "witless pretentiousness." The difference being, of course, that no one threw recording contracts and plum roles and Leno appearances at her. Please stop.
It's like the Venus de Milo statue came to life and turned out to be a lesser Kardashian. Such a waste when by just standing there quietly, like a statue, she attained the perfection of our imaginations.
posted by john at 8:48 AM • permalink