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July 7, 2011

my friends' kids, neatly summarized in their own words

I was playing with a friend's kid on some monkey bars when we reached an impasse. She would go no farther, she said, because I was certain to tickle her. Never mind that I have never tickled her nor threatened to, she argued. I am a douchebag, and douchebags apparently tickle vulnerable children.

And thus did we argue for five minutes until her arms got tired and she advanced past me on the bars.

"And did I tickle you?"

"No."

"Then don't you think you owe me an apology?"

The child blinked at me, confused. Sheepishly, she finally replied "I don't know what that word means."

posted by john at 9:52 AM  â€¢  permalink