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March 14, 2011
what price, $1.39?
It's time for a little role-play. No french maid outfit required. Unless, you know, you want to.
Let's say you started the only restaurant in the teensy remote outpost of Metamuville, WA. It's an upscale little lunch-only cafe, but spendy for the predominantly geriatric clientele. There are precious few Metamuvillians who can afford to drop $20 for lunch all the time.
One such guy visited you every day until he'd sampled your entire menu. He routinely dropped a fiver in your tip jar, and while he was there, he established your online presence and made you the #1 hit on several important Google searches. In your first two weeks, he patronized you 12 times.
Last week, your business's fourth, he placed his order. You didn't hear him say "and a Diet Coke." You also ignored him when he said "the total seems a little low." You did notice the $5 tip he dropped in your jar, though, and you thanked him.
A few minutes later, you see him at his table, sucking down a $1.39 Diet Coke. What do you do?
- Ignore it? After all, this guy, often your only customer, has dropped $224 here in the last 16 days. And he added $75 in tips.
- Quietly pull $1.39 out of the tip jar, just to make the register right?
- Say 'Hey John, sorry, I missed that Diet Coke. Can I get another $1.39 out of you?"
If you picked any of those responses, you win our exercise. You win life.
What actually happened: the manager of this cafe sent the owner to my table, where she Whispered Gravely into my ear "Kathy wanted me to mention: you didn't pay for that Diet Coke."
It became clear that they not only thought this to be my fault, they suspected me of sneaking this trifle. I went from zero to rage in 2.8 seconds.
What followed was an ugly exchange, full of thinly veiled accusation and subsequent offense. One of us used the phrase "clean the wax out of your motherfuckin' ears." I don't remember who.
I'll let you know when the cafe folds.
posted by john at 9:59 PM • permalink