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March 17, 2011

victim of the week: rashard mendenhall

Sorry, Adrian Peterson, but you have been outperformed.

Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall, on the state of labor relations in the NFL:

“Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel each other.”

When questioned about the aptness of this analogy, Mendenhall, like an obedient slave, lashed out at his critics:

“If you look back and dissect what I said, I [didn't] say that the NFL was slavery, I said that they parallel each other. Look up the word parallel. This means that they’re not the same thing, but they run the same course. These paths will never cross, but they mirror each other. I could break down how, but that would take an amount of ideology and big words that a lot of you wouldn’t understand.”

I, for one, would like to extend my most heartfelt apologies to this college dropout for not possessing the intellectual powers that does he. To this lashless, multimillionaire, Super-Bowl-losing fumbler who walked away from his free college education in order to join something parallel to slavery, I say here and now that am unreservedly sorry.

And I am shamed.

Really.

I mean that.

You cannot fake tears like these.

posted by john at 9:03 AM  â€¢  permalink