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April 28, 2009
you don't know jake
Continued from yesterday
Meanwhile, I was interested in this girl, Susan, my co-worker, and we'd been hanging out a lot lately. I'd confided in her about my anger with Jake, my frustrations with Zoe, and of course the death threats.
Within weeks of Jake picking up the mop at my particular Starbucks, Susan and I were in my Jeep, heading to dinner. "Okay," she said nervously. "I have something to tell you and you're going to hate it."
I went cold all over. Yep, she was dating Jake. And yep, I'd mentioned my interest in her to Zoe and him.
I did an illegal u-turn and started driving back to Susan's apartment. "What? What is this?"
"I'm driving you home."
"What?! WHAT?! You mean this is it, just like that, it's over?"
"That is precisely what I mean."
What followed was an unreal volley of acrimony about how controlling I am, about how she needs to find out about people for herself, blah blah blah. Does it matter? It did not. I was seriously creeped out, both by Jake's stalking and by Susan knowingly inviting between her legs someone who continued to threaten my life. Yes, it's over. And how.
I stopped outside her apartment and waited for her to leave. She started breathing heavily, upset. And then, just when I thought the creep factor had peaked, she snapped the needle on my creepometer.
"Do you want to spend the night?"
Jesus H. She obviously considered this her ace in the hole. How flattering.
"No. For so many reasons. Get out."
Jake must have been satisfied with his measure of revenge, as I never heard from him again. Small price to pay, that. Susan wrote me six months later, telling me that she'd broken it off with him and that what can she say, she's a slow learner. I didn't reply.
In my "post ideas" queue has long been "creepiest moments of my life." I've resisted writing it, even though you guys already know a few of them from other posts. Susan's claim to fame is that she's the only person who made the top five twice. In one two-minute period, yet. Not too shabby.
posted by john at 6:09 AM • permalink