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December 8, 2008
new diet craze!
My fingers tremble with excitement as I share with you my newly found secret to weight loss.
- Buy bottled coyote urine. In my case, it wasn't just a fetish thing. I also used it to scare raccoons away. Whatever its use, this putrid black toxin is the rankest substance you can conjure.
- Accidentally slop some of it on your hands. Just a dab will do.
- Simply try to eat. If you can gag down any food (or get the stench off your hands within the half-life of 16 pounds of depleted uranium), you're more man than me.
posted by john at 7:42 AM • permalink