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June 19, 2008

glass cases

I shoulda seen it coming. Feedback on yesterday's cheating post uniformly observed the gender difference and posited that for some reason, women must blame other women and not the cheating man. I can't speak to that, but it feels right, in a crazy competitive female way. Tell me more.

I can say that my not knowing Rich is a huge variable. Here's the sum of what I knew about him before Sarah's massive disinformation campaign began.

• In November, he was her new physical therapist (Warning),
• about whom she avoided gender pronouns. (Warning.)
• By January, his full name was "Rich, who I consider a new friend" (Warning!)
• and when they went out he was remarking on how truly remarkable Sarah is for having endured so, so...I don't know what, but definitely reasons for pitying Sarah. (Warning! Warning!)
• By late January she'd gotten weird and angry about letting me see her myspace (ah-OOO-GAH!)
• and in February she disappeared without explanation for an entire day.

That's it. Not exactly the stuff of hate. Rather, it's not exactly the stuff of hating him. After all, this is a woman who we now know banged four different men over four consecutive Springs, all while married. Who comparison-shopped two of 'em while in marital counseling with a third. Hate the guys? The guys are immune from hate as long as Sarah's involved. That creepy little skank is a hate lightening rod.

I should note that if he'd been a friend of mine, that would be entirely different. Not only would it humanize the offender (Rich is, in the end, just a proven hypothesis to me), but it would violate the guy code about one another's women. There's no guy lower than the guy who sleeps with a buddy's girl. Hell, we ask permission to date his ex-girlfriend, and even then, I never do it because it just feels wrong.

Now, strangers' women? Not so much. We're stupid that way.

I'm now inspired to include a little "Bring the Pain" from Chris Rock. I've thought of it often ever since Sarah busted out the first "Rich, who I consider a new friend." Enjoy.

posted by john at 07:38 AM  •  solamente