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June 6, 2008
shitty weekend
I write you this from the toilet. I say this not to illustrate my vileness, but to convey that I'm hiding behind the only door in my house that locks.
My older sister has a long history of mental illness, and things aren't getting better. When she stepped off her plane yesterday, she was incoherent and slurring her words badly. "My god. She's an invalid," I thought and still think. The slurring was the result of an anti-psychotic med, and the med was for any number of maladies. Paranoid schizophrenia, paranoid something-else disorder, post-traumatic stress, mania, bipolar disorder and more were mentioned yesterday as concrete facts. Doctors who disagree with her own diagnosis are crooks who just want to keep her sick. Stewardesses, ferry guys, cashiers, Mexicans and George Bush are all trying to screw her. When the flashing falls down on her house, it's our sister's Nadine's fault. Nadine is insanely jealous of the house, you seen, and we're 100% certain it's her. I know this because I heard this story a half-dozen times yesterday. Now multiply that by a dozen stories, and you have me hiding on the toilet.
The worst part is that my sister is a very lonely person. Small wonder. Now that she has a captive audience, she never shuts up. The monologue of recycled stories, blackjack rules (she called the nearby casino six times yesterday to ask questions), and recycled stories is unremitting. Her voice is a bona fide dentist's drill. If I'm in bed, she appears next to it. Blah blah blah. Rather, BLAH BLAH BLAH. We don't use our indoor voice. If I'm watching TV or reading, she doesn't even ask for my attention first. She just starts droning an an incredible volume, then angrily demands to know why I'm not paying attention.
How come time never stands still like this when a really hot chick is staying here?
Prior to writing the above, I'd already splattered my bare legs while plunging her shitty toilet water this morning. After writing the above, I exited the bathroom to find that she's stepped in Blondage's dog's shit and tracked it all over my house.
posted by john at 8:21 AM • permalink