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February 21, 2008
a passage on india
I needed help with my new wireless bridge, and as I listened to the lovely American female voice guide me through the voice-menu maze, I got a little teary eyed. I would miss her. Soon, very soon, inevitably, I would miss her deeply. And then I did.
"Ξεζθλπξ, my name is Bob," said the voice. "ΔΐΏǼΘ ΠΞεζθλπξψη ЊЋ to-day?"
"Um. Hi...'Bob.' I have a Belkin Ethernet bridge and can't get it to work."
"ΔΐΏǼΘ ΠΞεζθλπξψ ηЊ Ћ?"
"Um, 'Bob,' I didn't understand that."
"ΔΐΏǼΘ ΠΞεζθλπξψ ηЊ Ћ?"
"Um. One more time?"
"ΔΐΏǼΘ ΠΞεζθλπξψ ηЊ Ћ?"
"Um. Yes?"
"Ξεζ θλπ ξψη ЊЋ, and ΔΐΏ ǼΘΠΞ εζ θλ πξψη ЊЋΔΐΏǼ ΘΠ Ξεζ θλπ ξψηЊЋ ΔΐΏǼΘ Π Ξεζθλπ ξψηЊЋΔΐΏ ǼΘΠΞε ζθλπξψηЊЋ ΔΐΏǼ ΘΠΞεζ θλπξψηЊЋ ΔΐΏǼΘΠΞε ζθλπξψ ηЊЋΔΐΏǼ Θ ΠΞ εζθ λπξ ψηЊЋ in the ΔΐΏǼ ΘΠΞ εζ."
"Um. No?"
"Then Δ ΐΏǼΘΠ ΞεζθλπξψηЊ ЋΔ ΐΏǼΘ ΠΞεζθ λπξψ ηЊЋΔ ΐΏǼΘΠΞ εζθλ πξψηЊ ЋΔΐΏǼΘ ΠΞεζθ λπξψ ηЊЋΔΐΏǼΘΠ Ξεζθλπξψ ηЊЋΔΐ ΏǼΘΠ Ξεζθ λπξψη ЊЋΔΐΏǼΘΠ Ξεζθλ πξψη ЊЋΔΐΏ ǼΘΠΞεζ θλπξψηЊЋ ΔΐΏǼΘΠΞε ζθλπ ξψηЊЋΔ ΐΏǼΘΠ Ξεζθλπ ξψηЊЋΔΐΏ ǼΘΠΞεζθλ πξψηЊЋΔΐ ΏǼΘΠ Ξεζθλπ ξψηЊ Ћ now?"
Feeling guilty about hanging up on this person, I lied. "Hello? Hello? Are you still there? I can't hear you anymore. Hel-" Click.
I wasn't angry at this person but at Belkin, for making me talk to the lowest bidder. Still. I wonder how many times a day some pissed off American calls Bob "Apu?"
posted by john at 10:38 AM • permalink