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March 29, 2007

friends unimaginary

There was a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon that meant little to me when I last saw it, in my 20s, but that really resonates with me now.

Calvin's parents are talking about their son. Dad expresses concern about the boy's obsession with his toy tiger.

"Didn't you ever have imaginary friends?" Mom asks.

Dad sighs. "Sometimes, I think all my friends are imaginary."

I'm not quite at that point yet, but as old friends fade away and get replaced by whatever's handy, I'm getting there. I was trying to explain the phenomenon to Dorkass recently. Instead of my normal practice of using hand puppets to explain a situation to her, I employed an illustration.

"Let's put it this way. There are several people out there who I intensely dislike who consider me a very close friend."

"I'm sorry!" replied Dorkass, thinking this was yet another you-had-a-baby-and-dropped-me-just-like-you-dropped-her lecture. It actually wasn't. It was about me, not her. But I took the apology, 'cause Supreme Court vacancies are easier to land than Dorkass apologies.

In fact, parents, you all should all follow suit. Pony up the repentance. How thoughtless of you, really, to procreate. Did you think of me not at all?

• • •

Allie, discussing people's negative reactions when she announced she was pregnant with Lily: "You tell them you're pregnant, and their first reaction is 'You're never going to be able to do the things you love again.' It's really odd. Like they can't wait to crap on your happiness by saying they feel sorry for you."

"What was my reaction?"

"Oh, you were fine. You just felt sorry for yourself."

posted by john at 7:35 AM  â€¢  permalink