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August 23, 2006
dear stan klanders
For lack of any other inspiration—would W kindly speak off-script to some reporters soon?—I shall answer random mail from trolls.
David: yes, Dirt and I are still coming to Iowa for the Ohio State game. I canceled my Pittsburgh/Austin trip, though, as the whole point was to see the Steelers' ring ceremony, which ended up taking place in April. Little did I know that the other game on that trip, Ohio State at Texas, would end up being #1 against #2. Oops. Let's hope Ohio State is still #1 by the time I see them in Iowa City.
Erica: flyless boxers. At about two weeks without doing laundry, I wriggle into some high-school era tidy whities, which fit really interestingly now.
Beyonce: yes. Oh sweet God in heaven, yes.
Rachel asks what I do to combat depression. First of all, I don't drink. I figure the last thing your body needs when you're depressed is a depressant. I cut out caffeine, too, hoping doing so will help with sleeping. Then I pop in "The Ref" DVD. That gleefully hateful movie has never failed to snap me out of the bluest funk.
Browns fan Dan asks if there's anything I dislike about the Steelers. You might think this difficult to answer, but it's really not. I think monogamous sports fans spend almost as much time resenting their team as they do loving them. For starters, I dislike Heinz Field. I hate its dinky, crammed, mustard yellow seats. And who thought buffalo wings were a good football stadium food? Who are they, and where do they think all those bones are going? I dislike Steeler fans' zealous preoccupation with the quarterback. I hate whatever inferiority complex compels them to whine endlessly about not getting any respect from the national media. I could go on. I won't.
Sick of me writing about football? Me too. Ask me about something else.
posted by john at 12:09 PM • permalink