« what did i ever do to you, motherfucker? | Main | things with ears and teeth »

March 8, 2006

black. white.

For the first few years of "Survivor," you could reliably bet on the Black Guy (there would be exactly one) being 1) conspicuously lazy, 2) ultra-religious, or 3) both. "What," I wondered. "Did they get these guys all from the same family?" There was obvious stereotyping going on, be it in the casting or the editing. Although empathy extracted some offense from me, I'll admit I was also amused. I find anything amusing if I know it irritates people who aren't me. I'm just a lousy person that way.

In other words, I had "Black. White." coming to me.

BW is a new show that premiered tonight on F/X. It's reality show schlock posing as a meaningful sociological experiment. Two families, one black, one white, don makeup and pose as the other race. They live together during the experiment and give one another tips. The best moment of the first episode was a seemingly nothing moment: the black dad, wearing his redneck getup, goes into a shoe store and buys shoes, and he's blown away by the clerk sliding the shoes on to his feet. With a shoehorn, yet. A minor thing, of course, but his astonishment was not: he was genuinely shocked. That's the show at its best, illuminating the little societal differences we don't even know exist.

But good god, that white family. They're my punishment for the Survivor thing. I was utterly humiliated while watching them—and I was by myself. The daughter seems cool, but the parents are hopeless, clueless, sniveling, approval-starved losers who simply will not shut their holes. "I expect I'll walk differently!" chirps the vacuous father. "I love black," says the Nobel Laureate mother. "I mean visually, and heart-wise. There's a warmth." We know from the previews that they casually let the n-bomb fly over dinner. So we have that to look forward to. Meanwhile, I had to stop the Tivo a couple times just to wince and recover from the mortifying things they were saying. To the black family, on posing as black among blacks: "I just figured when I walk into the room, I'd high-five everybody."

Please tell me this is a put on. These people don't really exist, right? Please?

posted by john at 10:57 PM  â€¢  permalink