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February 8, 2006
hot for teacher
However briefly, a buddy and I have dated two of the same women. And then one day, he had an elementary school teacher by his side, and they got married, and they lived happily ever after. I hate him now. She's lively and lovely, bright and utterly charming, and best of all, she doesn't work for, nor care in the least about, Microsoft. This is the perfect woman.
Brace yourself for an irrational leap.
You've heard of leg men. You've heard that gentlemen prefer blonds. The better-adjusted of my gender might say they want to be with a woman who doesn't need a man to complete her. Fine, fine, fine. Me, I want to date an elementary school teacher. The more I think about it, the more attractive the notion is to my fertile imagination. By definition, she's educated and she has ideals, or at least she has the suggestion of ideals, or at least she did before politics and parents beat it out of her, which only serves to make her darker and more fascinating. By definition, money isn't the most important thing in the world to her, so perhaps she won't mind too much if I work four weeks out of the year. She won't have any free time, so she'll leave me alone during the week, and she'll have summers off like me. Having others' brats off-loaded on her all day, she'll very likely not want kids. Big win. She'll work mostly with women and the occasional gay man. Most excellent. And of course, she won't come home and complain about her petty, dysfunctional little corner of Microsoft, which will very closely resemble every other petty, dysfunctional little corner of Microsoft. The perfect woman.
But will she have sufficiently low standards? I: there's the rub.
posted by john at 12:47 PM • permalink