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January 12, 2006

of maxim babes and hr twinkies

I knew I was getting old when I was at the magazine rack and, suddenly and quite unexpectedly, I no longer recognized the girls on the cover of Maxim. I used to know them all, complete with their scant filmographies. Then click. Old fartedness set in. "I have no idea who she is, but I bet her parents are really proud of the lollipop-sucking photo," I found myself snorting, rolling my eyes. And then I shrieked in horror. "I MEAN, WOW SHE'S SMOKIN' HOT! LIKE, TOTALLY HITABLE!"

But it was too late. Once your mother's words come out of your mouth, they cannot be shoved back in. Report to the nearest Chevy dealership and buy a station wagon.

With this moment in time has also come a brand new peeve: when businesses try to sell me something by shoving a 21 year old's cleavage in my face. I used to just be offended by the crass misogyny of it all, but now first and foremost it offends my intelligence. I'm supposed to take a job/buy a camera/eat at a restaurant/watch a show because...I'm not sure why, actually. Apparently I'm that stupid. The mere presence of a beautiful woman is supposed to make me part with rational thought and/or money. Pardon me if I find that presumption extraordinarily irritating.

Like most of the tech industry, Microsoft hires very attractive young women as recruiters. While of course there are exceptions, I've had to deal with far, far too many hot young HR reps who hadn't the slightest idea how to do their jobs, or even what their jobs were. Their serial inability to recruit writers with basic literacy skills drove me mad, and I took to calling them "HR Twinkies." (Admittedly not really fair, since they're the exploited) Their unstated job seems obvious: to attract candidates in every sense of the word. It certainly seems to comprise the sum of their skill-set. I often wonder if the recruiters were hired because most of the candidates are male, or if most of the Microsoft is male because the recruiters were hired. Apparently we're that stupid.

posted by john at 12:08 AM  •  permalink