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May 09, 2007

chisery

Warning: forecast calls for scattered misery, with a high blood-pressure system causing rising temperatures in the evenings.

Post-AW, my interest in relationships has been nil. At first I blamed her, specifically the incredibly foul taste that the final year left in my mouth. As time passed, though, that taste faded, yet no interest returned. Maybe I'm just getting older, I thought. Maybe I'm no longer chained to the ravenous beast that is the male sex drive. Or maybe I'm just evolving into a higher life form, one that doesn't lightly invite chick-misery into its life.

Wrong, wrong, and tragically wrong.

I'm disgusted to announce the imminent return of chisery. Whatever the cause (I think it's the regular exercise), I'm suddenly noticing women like last year I was noticing Saab convertibles. I can already feel the slides in intellect and discipline beginning. I wonder why so-and-so didn't call me back within 11 minutes of my leaving a voice-mail. I suddenly notice that my friends are hot. Worst of all, the eager stupidity of men is back with a vengeance. Hey, that bored chick made polite eye contact with me. That's practically a proposition. Hit on her! Hit on her!

Shudder.

I did not miss this crap. These have been happy times.

"That's a shame," sympathized a friend who on Sunday became shockingly hot. "You had a good run."

"So did you," I replied. "I'm sorry in advance."

posted by john at 06:54 AM  •  permalink