STANK: Musings from the Round Mound of Unprofound: i felt a funeral, in my brain

March 24, 2006

i felt a funeral, in my brain

A few years ago, a fad called "personas" became all the rage at a certain world's largest software company. In theory, personas are useful for getting thousands of people to think of customers the same way. We know that the fictional token white guy Chris Redman is a system administrator for a fictional medium-sized company, and that he manages seven servers and 2000 clients, and that....oh you don't care. You get the point. MS made up hypothetical customers with hypothetical needs. Why didn't they use actual customers? Because that wouldn't be cool.

It started with baseball cards. Someone with entirely too much budget undertook to create an authentic baseball card for each persona and distribute these as gifts. You laugh, but I can name people who excitedly tried to collect them all. "I'll trade you three Chris Redmans and a Mariko Nakatani for your Olukun'le E'luhonla! He's cool!"

Three more brain cells died when I was typing that sentence.

Soon, glossy posters dedicated to the personas appeared in the hallways. I could now pick Chris Redman out of a crowd sooner than I could a family member. While I'm desensitized to the everyday detachment from reality in Redmond, its latest manifestation caused even me pause. Chris Redman is now praising our products. "Windows Server 2003 changed my life, making my job easier and my network more secure! Thanks!"

The voices in their heads are officially speaking back.

posted by john at 08:10 AM • permalink